A double 2 @ 22

In 2 days, in this 2nd month of the year, I'm turning 22. Yes, I am about to celebrate my 22 years of existence on this planet. Cheers! It's a double 2! But instead of thinking ways on how to celebrate my 22nd birthday, I’m thinking ways how to eliminate this double 2 in my heart. You might ask what that double 2 means? Well, if you are a Bisdak, a Bisayang Dako, then you can relate with me, double 2 is a word-for-word translation of the Visayan term “duha-duha”, which means doubts or uncertainties. Yes, I have this feeling in my heart right now as I am about to turn 22. I have doubts on my capability. I am uncertain if I can make it this time. I’m talking here about passing the ECE Licensure Examination. Even this time, I am still hesitant of taking the board exam the following month. I feel the lack of preparation. I feel the lack of knowledge. I feel like a soldier going to a battle without complete armaments. Probably, I am too afraid of failure. Probably, I am too afraid not to meet other people’s expectations. Am I? Am I?... I am not sure. The only thing I am certain this time is that I will be turning 22. Cheers, at least, I have one thing I am certain with! Huh. Maybe, I am out of my mind.