a walk down the aisle

Picking Up the Pieces of a Shattered Dream

Life is not always a fairy tale. It doesn't always end up into a happy ending, a happily ever after.  We may wish it will end that way.  But sometimes, whether we like it or not,  our dreams turn shattered.  Building dreams and later watched them buckled is one of those inevitable facts in life. We simply can't have all we want. The saddest thing is, no matter how hard we work for something, there are just things that are not meant for us. There are dreams that will always remain a dream. Its painful, yes it is. But pain will make us better. It will make us appreciate more the joy and happiness. The  most important part, in our journey so-called life,  is to never surrender when problems pave the way and to never stop dreaming. Let not our dreams and goals in life be ruined by these problems. Instead, let us make these problems our stepping stones to become a better and a stronger person. That in every sunrise we would be able to say to ourselves, "I am picking up the pieces of a shattered dream, I am picking up the pieces of my life, I am whole again and much stronger, I am ready to face the world and conquer my dreams!"

I just turned 23

(Photo Credit )

Today, I just turned 23. I thank God for this special day. I thank Him for all the blessings He has bestowed upon me. I wish and pray for His guidance and wisdom. To my family, and to all those who extended their greetings and wishes, thank you all for making my birthday a memorable one.

It's been awhile

Photo Credit

Sooo, yeah. I’m back... I’m back from nowhere. Hah. My life has been so tough and complicated, nevertheless I’m trying to move on. I don’t want to give you a detailed full story about that chapter of my life for it will just remind me of the pain, instead I wanted to close it and start anew.

Sooo, yeah. It’s been awhile since I last updated this blog. What’s up with my life? Well, I got a new job. Oops, should I say, I’m going to get a new job soon. Right now, I’m undergoing a 3-month training program, Copy Editors Learning Program (CELP), with SPI Technologies in Bacong, Negros Oriental. It’s a new different environment for me, a new opportunity to grow. I hope to (will) pass the training program and become a certified Copy Editor soon. In case I make it, I’m still contemplating whether to go freelance or take the job full time. I’m going to decide later, but for now my focus is to pass the training. Wish me luck.

On other matters, today happens to be the birthday of my Lola so I would like to greet her happy birthday! I wish her good health and more extra years. Tomorrow will be the birthday of my Tita McBeth, advanced happy birthday to her! I wish her all happiness life could bring. The day after tomorrow will be my birthday! I’m turning 23. My only wish is to clearly see the will of God for my life. =)

"Kamatayan"

Don't get me wrong. I don't want to meet him yet. But I always wonder how Kamatayan looks like? Anyone of you had seen him? I bet you don't want to meet him too.

So just for fun, I took this picture of Argey portraying Kamatayan. I hope I made him look like a real one (lol). Happy Halloween everyone!

A Safe Haven

Nothing compares the feeling of being at home, as others put it, "No place like home". There's no place I feel so secured and worry-free, except home. Just like these eggs whose nest is a safe haven for them, for me home is a safe haven. I am missing home...

a simple wish

NOW, I have a simple wish. I am not anymore hoping that you'll learn to love me, because I know it's close to impossible . I just wish I can forget that I love you, because I wanted to free myself from this pain. I wanted to be close with you without me desiring to hug, kiss and embrace you. I wanted to look at you without me wanting you. I wanted to see the both of you happy without me crying deep inside and asking 'why not me?'. I wanted to move on and go on with my life as you go on with yours with him. I pray that this simple wish of mine be granted.

photo credit to ~neolucifer of deviantart

Buglasan Festival 2009 Photos

As promised here are some photos from our tour at the Sidlakang Negros Village on the kick off of the Buglasan Festival 2009. (I feel lazy today, so no captions provided. Enjoy!)

If you haven't visited Sidlakang Negros for the Buglasan Festival 2009, take a tour now and witness "one-stop shop" of Negros Oriental's achievements in cultural advancement and creativity.

this feelin'

I don’t recall ever feelin’ this way before.
I never had fought a fight such this.
My intellect is tellin’ me to let go of you,
For it knows there is no chance that you’ll love me too.
But my heart is still crying and shouting you,
With this FEELIN’ I don’t know what to do.
Right now all I know is I still love you,
And perhaps, I’ll keep on lovin’ you
Until I finally MASTER the ART of LETTING GO.

photo credit to ~mattclaghorn of deviantart

i still love you

Why now? You ask me that when I finally said I love you.
Maybe, I was just too late in telling it to you.
Your love for him is back and you feel it’s true.
But heaven knows, I meant those words for you.
And it’s not just brought by a touched ego.

I was trying to convinced myself when you said NO,
That the best thing to do is to let you go.
If you only knew what I've been going through
Waiting and wanting you, in silence I do.

This time, all I want is to be true
And face the truth
That no matter what I do
I STILL LOVE YOU.

photo credit to ~ageai of deviantart

i want to sing you a love song

I don't know why but this feelin' keeps comin' back and I hate it. I hate this feelin'. I hate this feelin because it brings me so much pain. I hate this feelin' because it made me regret my past. I hate this feelin' because it made me realize how stupid I am for being doubtful with this feelin' before, for not doing my best to win you and make you love me, and for not taking my chance well. I hate this feelin' because it makes me wonder how it feels like to be in your sweet embrace. I hate this feelin' because it made me think of the 'what ifs'. I hate this feelin' because no matter how big my desire to wipe it out I can't take it away, it just keeps comin' back. I hate this feelin' because I can't control it, why do I keep on loving you? If only...

If only you are mine, I want to sing you a love song.

I Want to Sing You a Love Song
by Anne Murray

There's a wren in a willow wood flies so high sings so good
And he brings to you what he sings to you
Like my brother the Wren and I well he told me if I try
I could fly for you and I want to try for you cause

I want to sing you a love song
I want to rock you in my arms all night long
I want to get to know you I want to show you
The peaceful feeling of my home

Summer thunder on moon bright days northern lights and skies ablaze
I'll bring to you love when I sing to you
Silver wings in a fiery sky show the trail of our love
And I'll sing to you love is what I bring to you
I want to sing to you

P.S. if you happen to read this post just please ignore it. i know you are very happy now. i am just writing this because i just want to be honest with myself sometimes. i feel like a person full of pretension, pretending to be strong outside even if i'm fainting in the inside. at least here, i have the courage to be me, to pour out my real emotions. i love you even now. take care always.

hoping and waiting

It’s hard to hope and to wait for something that you know may never happen, but it’s even harder to let go and give up, when you know it’s everything you ever wish for – to be loved by her even if I know she is loving somebody else.

photo credit to techoveride of deviantart

a new start

I learned blogging more than two years ago but I seldom poured out my real emotions in my blogs. It's more out of curiosity that I started blogging, curiosity on how to make money online. So most of my blog entries, if not paid reviews, were entries made just to have daily updates on my blogs inorder to build traffic and eventually get higher views and clicks for my displayed ads. Still, the point was to generate income online. See, how I wanted to earn money online even if sometimes I need to force myself just to write any update on my blogs. Of course, my efforts had not went to nothing. I had earned more than a hundred of dollars. I was able to prove to myself that I can make money online.

But now, I came to realize that it should not only be about generating money online. This time, I am doing a new start in blogging. I'll make blogging, just like most bloggers are doing, as a personal online diary, as a reflection of one self, and as a confession of one person's real emotions. This blog self-titled based on my temperament will carry this purpose. I will write about how I feel and I will talk about something that will reflect the real me as a person. And this very first post is just the beginning of a new start.

photo credit to after-the-party of deviantart

are you a pervert?

Just recently, I made some cleaning in my e-mail box, which by the way I’m doing once in a while to get rid of spam mails. Oh well, I guess I’m not the only one doing it. Almost everybody, if not all, receive this useless crap in their mailbox.

I got also time to scan my mailbox and open some unread mails some even dated a year ago. I usually check my mailbox often but I don’t usually read forwarded mails. No wonder, I have plenty of unread mails accumulated at my inbox.

In one of those unread e-mails, it has this picture:


What do you see in the picture?

Hmmn… let me guess! You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?

Interestingly, research had shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple. They do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario, instead they are seeing something.

What they are seeing are the nine dolphins in the picture. Did you also see dolphins in the picture? Or just after you have read this.

If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind maybe corrupted and you may need help, you pervert. You have in your memory this intimate scenario (laugh). Don’t think that bad, we’ll maybe you were just influenced by media around you - from magazines, books, movies and television shows.

Also, it simply proved that you are not an innocent child anymore. Everybody will reach this point anyway, so don’t worry with this. It’s just a mere dolphin illusion. I know that you know yourself better than anyone else. You are not pervert of course.

welcome to the club

I've been very forgetful lately. I must admit, my sharp memory is deteriorating. This must be a sign that I'm not getting any younger (*sigh).

I guess I don't need to worry that much. I am not the only one. When I sent my cousin a text message looking for my keys, he replied, "Welcome to the club!" Hah.

If I've been very forgetful now, what more in the next years to come? Forgive me if the next time we'll meet I could not remember your name. Help! I need some memory enhancers.

ARCKE's 1st founding anniversary

Argey Randy Chamberlain Karole Ed

ARCKE Multimedia Solutions and Services turned one last 18 May 2009. Since we couldn't afford yet a grandiose party, we just had a simple celebration at Forest Camp, Valencia, Negros Oriental. Despite the limited budget, we had so much fun. We thank God for the one year he had given us and we pray for many more years to come. Little by little, we are seeing our dreams happen and our visions realize. And step by step, we are moving forward for its full realization. More power ARCKE!

And by the way, we have our virtual office launched last 18 April 2009. You can visit us at www.ARCKE.net .

those good old days

I was searching for some files at my CDs when I came across these photographs. A certain feeling engulfed me upon seeing these pictures. Nostalgia, huh. These were taken a year and a half ago at the Pylon office, but I could still vividly remember how busy we were during those days. Despite the hectic schedule for the yearbook making, we managed to extend our help to the organizer of the Mr. and Ms. NORSU for the Audio Visual Presentation (AVP) during the pageant night. Notwithstanding the limited time, we were able to produce a good presentation.

I miss working with the pylonites. I miss working and sleeping at the Pylon office, I miss it's freezing coldness. I miss those good old days.

Happy Mother's Day

I know this is late for the event, however, please let me greet all the Nanays in the world a Happy Mother's Day.

To my mom, thank you for the unconditional love, care and support you have shown to us. We would not be who we are now if not because of you mom, and dad. Thank you so much. Although, we may not be able to express always our love for you in words, but please always remember that we love you.

Thank you for being a wonderful mom. I love you and Happy Mother's Day Mom!

the rocky choleric

The personality tests I had undergone all revealed that I am a choleric - the extrovert, the doer and the optimist. I never doubt and I had always been convinced that I am a choleric. I am high-spirited and I always carry within me that optimism other personalities do not have. I am goal-oriented and I always see to it that I am doing the things that needed to be done in order to reach the goal that I have set. Indeed, I am a choleric.

But examining the way I live my life a year the past years, starting on the day I graduated college, I couldn't find the typical me.

Where is that Mr. Choleric other had known for so long? Most of the decisions I had made in the past years where just done because circumstances ask them. As if I don't have the strength and the will, I am just letting the wind carry me to whatever direction it blows. Where is that goal-oriented me? I had lost the confidence I naturally exude. I had been doubtful with myself whether I can make into realization the things I had envisioned. Where is that person so optimistic that would not care any obstacle that may come into his way? Where is that person that despite facing many trials and problems, still, at the end of the day he is there standing full of energy and guts to continue? Where is he now?

I believe he was lost in his journey, after all, it's not a perfect world we are living, it's not a perfect life we are playing. He was lost and had taken a detour in his journey.  But now, he's ready to be on the right track again. And he's the rocky choleric, and forever he will be!

Pre-Nuptial Shots at Casaroro Falls

One of the most adventurous pre-nuptial shots we had was with the Santillan-Cleope Nuptials. We had it at to Casaroro Falls in Valencia, Negros Oriental. The journey to the site was superb adventure as we have to deal with very rocky roads using only our motorbikes. Then, a sign board welcomes us, “Let us do the trek and burn some fats!” – we walked more than a thousand steps. Indeed very tiresome, but all the efforts are worth it. The fresh air, the bountiful green grasses and trees, the spectacular falls- these and more made us feel a real affinity with nature.