i want to sing you a love song

I don't know why but this feelin' keeps comin' back and I hate it. I hate this feelin'. I hate this feelin because it brings me so much pain. I hate this feelin' because it made me regret my past. I hate this feelin' because it made me realize how stupid I am for being doubtful with this feelin' before, for not doing my best to win you and make you love me, and for not taking my chance well. I hate this feelin' because it makes me wonder how it feels like to be in your sweet embrace. I hate this feelin' because it made me think of the 'what ifs'. I hate this feelin' because no matter how big my desire to wipe it out I can't take it away, it just keeps comin' back. I hate this feelin' because I can't control it, why do I keep on loving you? If only...

If only you are mine, I want to sing you a love song.

I Want to Sing You a Love Song
by Anne Murray

There's a wren in a willow wood flies so high sings so good
And he brings to you what he sings to you
Like my brother the Wren and I well he told me if I try
I could fly for you and I want to try for you cause

I want to sing you a love song
I want to rock you in my arms all night long
I want to get to know you I want to show you
The peaceful feeling of my home

Summer thunder on moon bright days northern lights and skies ablaze
I'll bring to you love when I sing to you
Silver wings in a fiery sky show the trail of our love
And I'll sing to you love is what I bring to you
I want to sing to you

P.S. if you happen to read this post just please ignore it. i know you are very happy now. i am just writing this because i just want to be honest with myself sometimes. i feel like a person full of pretension, pretending to be strong outside even if i'm fainting in the inside. at least here, i have the courage to be me, to pour out my real emotions. i love you even now. take care always.

hoping and waiting

It’s hard to hope and to wait for something that you know may never happen, but it’s even harder to let go and give up, when you know it’s everything you ever wish for – to be loved by her even if I know she is loving somebody else.

photo credit to techoveride of deviantart

a new start

I learned blogging more than two years ago but I seldom poured out my real emotions in my blogs. It's more out of curiosity that I started blogging, curiosity on how to make money online. So most of my blog entries, if not paid reviews, were entries made just to have daily updates on my blogs inorder to build traffic and eventually get higher views and clicks for my displayed ads. Still, the point was to generate income online. See, how I wanted to earn money online even if sometimes I need to force myself just to write any update on my blogs. Of course, my efforts had not went to nothing. I had earned more than a hundred of dollars. I was able to prove to myself that I can make money online.

But now, I came to realize that it should not only be about generating money online. This time, I am doing a new start in blogging. I'll make blogging, just like most bloggers are doing, as a personal online diary, as a reflection of one self, and as a confession of one person's real emotions. This blog self-titled based on my temperament will carry this purpose. I will write about how I feel and I will talk about something that will reflect the real me as a person. And this very first post is just the beginning of a new start.

photo credit to after-the-party of deviantart